As someone who started pole a few months before the shutdown, when the studio re-opened and new classes were added to the schedule, part of me was so excited to come back. But another part of me was tempted to run away. I know I’m not the only beginner who thought about saying: “I spent all that energy learning tricks, developing my flexibility, improving my climb ... and now I have to start from square one? Forget it!”
When the going gets tough, humans are literally wired to cut their losses and run. Studies by neuroscientists have shown people will go to greater lengths to avoid paying a $100 fee than they’d be willing to go to in order to earn an extra $100. The $100 has the same value, but the fear of losing feels bigger to us than the hope of winning.
Until I tried it.
It’s true, I came back pretty rusty; I certainly lost some conditioning and muscle memory. But those temporary losses were outshone by something I’d unexpectedly gained: CONFIDENCE.
My first time around, every time I learned something new, I was plagued by the anxiety and insecurity of wondering: “Am I ever going to be able to do this trick? Is this even possible?” I’d rush and take shortcuts, sacrificing technique and using all the wrong muscles, just to force my body into the right shapes.
But now? Hey, I know I can pull off these tricks, I know I can climb, I know I can dance fluidly … because I’ve done it before. And while I may not be able to do it all this week (or even this month), I’ve found a strength that comes from patience: Since I’m not in a rush to regain my tricks as quickly as possible, I can focus on learning them as well as possible, making my movements clean and strong and connected.
Remember a risk you took that turned out well, like skydiving or falling in love or having a child, and ask yourself: How many little moments did you miss in that experience, because you were consumed with anxiety about whether it would all work out in the end? Imagine you could go back to the beginning, except this time you’d know that you were totally prepared to handle everything coming your way.
How many new things would you notice, when you didn’t have to worry about the outcome? How many sweet moments would you linger in? How much would the experience nourish your soul?
So, if you’re like me -- if you danced for a few months, or an intro series, or even one class, and are afraid to re-begin -- take the leap and fly again. Stretch your wings and embrace the way they feel: familiar yet new.
Kat